The Howl – September 14 – Joan Collins fights tree!

by "Penguin" Pete Trbovich on September 14th, 2018 | |

Greetings, ghoulies and goblins, and welcome to our new feature “The Howl”! Every Friday, the AllHorror Howl gives you a roundup of news and items of interest to you fear fans. Our former feature in this spot, the weekend entertainment guide “Wicked Weekend,” has instead become a newsletter: Get your email subscription from your friendly local sidebar .

The new Suspiria has had a spot premiere at the Venice Film Festival. It got a standing ovation for eight minutes, FWIW. Official release date last we heard is November 2nd.

Mandy gets released this weekend in limited theaters. We keep hearing crazier and crazier things about it – it’s a rock opera, it’s a cult revenge flick, and of course, it has Nicholas Cage, which is enough to make any movie daffy.


We have a new guest review over at Horror Galore, for 6-Headed Shark Attack. We’re presuming you’re either bound for this movie and no review can sway you, or you’re not coming near it no matter what we tell you. Place your bets now on where the franchise will stop: 12 heads? 16 heads? 99 heads?

If your friends look at you weird because you’re a horror movie fan, just tell them horror is good for you. Tor Publishing says so, in a heart-warming article detailing how horror gives kids the tools they need to cope with real-world stress, and bonds everybody closer together, and it’s got vitamin B or something.

Just last weekend, Waxworks records released new albums of the soundtracks to three Dario Argento films. They get the full vinyl treatment with gatefolds, artwork, and everything. If your Halloween plans involve staying home handing out candy, having the stereo blasting Goblin when the kids come knocking is the least you can do!


So, a little story: First I heard from Dusan’s post that the new season for American Horror Story is going to have a guest appearance from Joan Collins, yes, Dynasty Joan Collins! So I track down Joan Collins‘ page and what do you know, she’s in four horror movies that we list already. But not only was she in Tales From The Crypt (1972), she was also in the quite demented big bug Bert I. Gordon movie Empire of the Ants (1977), and then there’s Tales That Witness Madness (1973), an anthology quickie that features her in one of the stories, have a look-see:

So yeah, Joan Collins gets her ass smacked while in a love triangle with her husband and a tree, gets into a fight with the tree, and then loses to the tree, which shows up in her spot in bed later with, uh, tree tits. That happened.

I watched all of Tales That Witness Madness and will confirm that the whole movie is that wacky. It’s like the Tales From the Crypt anthologies, with silly, short, punchy stories that deliver the sloppy goods without much foreplay. It’s also veddy veddy British.

Till next week, haunted horror fans, stay chilly!

 

http://www.penguinpetes.com/

Writer, artist, prophet, cult leader. Take good care of my memes. I’ve raised them since they were daydreams.

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